That weird things that happen to you when your sister is a drug addict

Having a sister who loves drugs more than any human on the planet, I have noticed that some weird, strange things happen in my life that perhaps are not normal to the average individual.

Throughout the past six years here are some highlights of oddity within my life:

     One time my sister's boyfriend who happens to be a lowly drug dealer who thinks he is a younger version of Eminem, thought I was dumb enough to drink a bottle of pee.  Yes, pee.  I awoke one fall afternoon to find a bottle of dehydrated pee colored Vitamin Water on my desk.  What?!?  Apparently my sister's boyfriend assumes that I am dumb enough to drink a suspicious bottle of disgustingly colored vitamin water that appeared mysteriously overnight.  Did he think I would just be incredibly thirsty and want to indulge in some juice as soon as I woke up?  I am not a big fan of Vitamin Water and I won't ever drink anything that looks remotely like urine, so this one was a fail Slim Shady. 

     As I have mentioned pee, another instance involving the bodily fluid has been dusted from my memory. Freshman year of college my sister was looking for a job, and being an avid pot smoker she was unable to pass a drug test.  Instead of doing the logical thing and resisting from smoking a joint for 30 days, my sister asked me if I would pee in a cup and sell my urine to her.  I said no.  I am not about to sell myself for money, that is prostitution lady!

   There have been some fairly strange occurrences at my house, but the weirdest happening to date occurred while my sister and her boyfriend accompanied my parents up north for a short weekend.  As my father slept in the corner of the room filled with single beds, Slim Shady woke up, walked over to him, and began to pee...on my father.  Needless to say my dad almost killed the kid.  When does that happen ever!  Its crazy. 

Given my three examples, I have come to the conclusion that drug addicts have a strange correlation with urine.  Wherever a drug addict resides, one must beware as urine may come up in a topic of conversation or end up on you.  It is not pleasant.